Yesterday the play got messed up 'cause the actors are DUMB ASSES.

I started crying and Mike tried to get what was wrong out of me, and the moment I was going to tell him, SYMPHONY AND CLAIRE COME RUNNING OUT LIKE FUCKING LOST PUPPIES. It's like, WTF? I admit, I follow him places too, but that's usually 'cause I need to ask him something, or he needs to ask me something, or we were having a conversation. They just follow him.. 'cause. So I ran out, and cried out in the cold. He got held up, and didn't come out after me. And I'm not mad at him about it, I just feel like shit, that was a bitch move on my part. He feels guilty because he didn't go after me.

But... you know, I'm glad he didn't.

'Cause he can act totally happy and funny, and normal, but still manage to give a shit. He can act like nothing happened, but suddenly be right there to give me a hug when I look like I'm going to cry again... And, well I don't like large groups of people, so sometimes I venture out of places, he'll give me a few minutes, and if I'm not back soon, he comes out for me, just to make sure I'm still there.

He can ask me what's wrong without sounding like I have a fucking knife to my wrists.



He's my friend. And making him smile, and making him happy is all I want. And what's weird, is that when everything's calm, and we just talk and laugh, I do that. I make him smile.

This is the damn weirdest feeling I've ever had. But it's okay.